Before I had kids I was one of those parents who wanted to limit my future poppet's screen time in order for their brains to grow merely from wholesome, organic sources and entertainment.
Ha ha ha.
That didn't last that long.
I've watched way too much children's television now. If you're sat questioning Flop's parenting techniques or wondering what idiots voted in Mayor Goodway then you're probably in the same boat as me. Sometimes, kid's TV is ten times more painful to sit through than a visit to the dentist.
I'm looking at you, Peppa-frickin'-Pig.
(I bloody hate that pink blob of toddler attitude).
However, there are some programmes that break the mold.
Some, I'd happily watch even if my children weren't watching. Others give me the time I need to use the loo on my own, stick some washing in the machine or even cook a meal.
This is my tribute to those rare gems, the children's TV shows worth watching.
Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom
I love Ben and Holly. I would, and have, watch it on my own with no children in sight. The geeky in-jokes appeal to the nerd within me - who wouldn't love a good Lord of the Rings reference?
It has also inspired me to randomly yell "JELLY FLOOD!" when I want my children's attention.
Nanny Plum takes sarcastic genius to the next level and beyond. I need a Nanny Plum in my life.
Another one where I laugh out loud. I was too old to watch this when I was a kid but will always find an excuse to watch this now. A lot of the humour goes above Lily's head but with a huge history fan as a Mum she may as well get used to this one quickly!
As a family, we enjoyed Heidi so much that when it disappeared from Netflix my daughter wrote to them asking for it back! I remember reading Heidi as a child and the programme was relatively true to the books. It may sound a bit stuck-up, but I liked that it was 'wholesome' and didn't have any dreadful characters masquerading as the hero/heroine of the story. It's a nice cartoon about a nice, kind girl and I was more than happy to let Lily watch the series over and over.
Andy's Baby Animals
I haven't been able to look at Andy in the same way since a Mumsnet forum member likened him to Fatima Whitbread.
If you can get past that image then all the 'Andy' programmes are pretty fab. My favourite used to be Dinosaur Adventures but is now the show all about ickle baby animals. So cute. So informative. So damn cute!
This one took me a while to like. On the surface, it's just a little girl with a really annoying voice but now I find the story lines pretty amusing. Lily also loves it so this falls into the category of allowing me to wee in peace. Five stars.
If you took the ridiculously stupid Mayor and her bloody chicken out of this I'd like Paw Patrol more. As it is it's kinda nice. I like the puppies, how they help people out and save the day and no job is ever too big. I also wonder if I've just grown to like it due to having no other choice. This is Ollie's favourite cartoon (he even had a Paw Patrol themed birthday cake) and even Lily went through a stint of watching it on repeat. I wouldn't watch it without the children around but if it's on then I can usually get on with cooking dinner and it's pretty inoffensive.
And I love the theme tune.
I'd never have thought that a cartoon essentially about the Scouts to make this list but Hey Dugee is a brilliant example of children's television appealing to adults. The humour is spot on and I could listen Alexander Armstrong talking all day long. You can't help but laugh out loud at appearances from the 'Rambo Mouse' or the jokes about organic fruit and veg at a farmer's market: "Just because it's covered in mud, doesn't mean it's organic".
Do you have any favourites? Let me know in the comments what programmes you can bear watching and if there are any that make you laugh out loud!